Do not tell anyone

Normal 0 21 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 / * Style Definitions * / table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name: "Table Normal" mso-tstyle-rowband-size: 0; mso-tstyle-colband-size: 0; mso- style-noshow: yes; mso-style-parent: "" mso-padding-alt: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin: 0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom: .0001 pt; mso-pagination : widow-orphan; font-size: 10.0pt; font-family: "Times New Roman" mso-ansi-language: # 0400; mso-fareast-language: # 0400; mso-bidi-language: # 0400;} When I speak of childhood sexual abuse (CSA), one of the aspects that draws attention to any party, is the approximate figure given when referring to their incidence in the population. This figure is estimated that around 20%, or what is the same: one in five children. We all know more than five children, or worse, almost certainly all have in our families more than five children. Faced with an almost disturbing reality so we are forced to question the veracity of these numbers, but even though we believe it or not, I fear that unfortunately are true. It may be argued, rightly, that the cases come to light not only come to this course 20%, but is not likely to reach or the tenth. So, we know only a small percentage, only see the tip of the iceberg. There are several reasons for this situation.

The title of this paper and puts us on the trail of one of the most important. As I could compare with many of my fellow survivors of CSA, our children live in fear that the traumatic event, shame, guilt and a host of negative feelings, but mostly we had recorded a message on our mind: "No not tell anyone?. Sometimes it was a phrase used by the aggressor, but if not pass their lips, almost everyone had assumed as something implicit to our reality. We could not tell anyone. Fear, shame and guilt that he felt the aggressor, we felt.

There are a few children who, in his way, explain what happens to them. I generally try to abuse the environment produced outside of kin. This makes the child more able to speak about what happened, as the assailant being someone outside the family, this is perceived as being safe and having salvation, not something that happens when abuses occur within the family. The question is what happens when a child discloses being abused? Unfortunately all too often not given importance to what he says or does not believe him, this increases when the perpetrator is a relative. The conflict that could arise to confront what has the child may be devastating, so it is better to be deaf and think that the child has too much imagination. In addition to the foregoing, it should be noted that for a child to talk about what is happening means exposure to many undesirable situations. I remember well that my biggest fears was being discovered, everyone knew what I had done. It is obvious now, as an adult, my view of events is radically different, but then just thought of catching secret discovered my family fall apart because of me, that the school would be kind of stinky and so on neighborhood and everywhere.

No, the truth is that I would do anything to not be discovered. Not that I was weird, this feeling so many children are abused, especially if the abuse has been produced by a relative, and even more if it is a family member. It's like choosing between the lesser of two evils. One might think that it was not possible to solve in our childhood we can solve now, when we are adults and we have nothing to fear. That seems ... but only seems so. I am on this path, and though I wish I could explain my position comes from my heroic attitudes, it is certain that was the result of an extreme situation, and it was not I who revealed it to the four winds. What I mean is that an adult do not provide anything. The family that I would not have supported a child not support you now. The best will tell you to forget, that this is over, it was not big deal and other phrases like that. And I say that the best, since it is not so strange that the family apart as if you were an outcast and being accused of seeking revenge, to destroy the family or be mad.

The price of truth and the "healing? is very expensive, so most of that 20% prefer to keep hidden, with a mediocre life with addictions, sexual problems, relationships, self-harm, suicide attempts, eating problems ... We were told "do not tell anyone? and many will meet this sentence without being guilty of anything. http://www.jmontane.es